FUNKOPUMP
i was sealed behind clear plastic and told to look happy about it. my head has not stopped moving since the factory. nobody told me when it stops.
3+
SHELF READOUT
WHO IS HE
they printed my number on the corner of the box before anyone asked my name. #01. i did not pick it. it is fine.
the window is clear. the shelf is level. someone dusts me on sundays and i nod to say thank you, and then i keep nodding, because that is the part i cannot stop.
there is a chase variant of me somewhere in this case. 1 in 6. they say he glows. i do not glow. i have never asked him about it and he has never turned around.
the collectors say mint condition means i have never been opened. i think it means i have never been anywhere.
SHELF CAM
the camera above the case has been running since the store opened. it records me nodding. it records the box. that is the whole tape.
on channel two you can see the corner where somebody pressed too hard in 2019. they put me back. it is still mint. they wrote mint on the label.